Sunday, December 18, 2011

Way 4: Influence

According to my "To Do" list, I was supposed to have written this entry yesterday.  But sometimes my mind needs time to wrap itself around an idea before I can put it down.

The idea of influence is, for me, a bit daunting.  It's one of those subjects that seems so obvious, so far reaching and yet so confined.  You may not know what I mean, and if not, I can't help you.  I just feel this way about certain things, especially when asked to teach or write about them.

Just yesterday I called a good friend and left her a voice mail to make her laugh.  Interestingly it was full of phrases and tone that about 3 years ago would have sounded like someone else.  You know who?  My husband.

 Even though we have been friends for more than 7 years, in the 2.5 years of married life he has influenced me the most.  I joke the same way he does now,  I watch anime, I even happily eat onions and nacho cheese.  I'm like a new person.  So when I asked him yesterday how I have influenced him guess what he said?

"You made me more patient."  Geez thanks honey.

The thing about influence is that it can be felt in many ways, It can be that we simply "rub off" on someone, or it can be extended by consistent positive example.  Of course influence can be felt negatively too.

Something else I would say about influence is that it may be large or small.  More importantly, the size and scope of our influence is not directly related to the amount of effort or time exhausted with someone.

The greatest personal proof I have of this is of a story when I lived in Utah for a summer about a year after graduating from High School.  It was my first time living away from home and my first shot at supporting myself.    Actually the summer was mostly boring and lame but for a fun job and a couple family members who lived nearby (and one pretty awesome friend).

I went grocery shopping, and must have gone when I was hungry because I remember filling my cart with things I didn't need.  So when I arrived at the register and figured out that I didn't actually have the money for everything, I started pointing out things I didn't need.  Then the person behind me interrupted and asked to pay for everything I didn't have the money for.  I wish I could remember anything about this person, but to be honest I can't even remember if it was a man or a woman.  After all my interaction with them was about 90 seconds worth.

 I tried to decline, explaining it wasn't a big deal.  However This person went on to explain that once, someone helped them get through a rough time in a similar way and they had always wanted to do the same.  Suddenly my groceries became an important way for this person to pay it forward.  And now I was included in a line of people who had been helped and gone on to help others.  I felt an important responsibility to keep the line going.

And I have.  At various times in various places I have found ways to give to someone in need.  And every single time I think of that stranger in a grocery store.  They influenced me more than ninety seconds worth.

David O. Mckay said once, "There is no responsibility that no one can evade.  That is the effect of one's personal influence."

So why is influence a way of Christmas?  Because too many people are grumpy and rude this time of year.  Trust me on this one, I work at the mall.  How powerful is one polite gesture, even one smile?  How can you spread Christmas cheer and influence the world around you?

Sorry, this isn't a Christmas video, but its an old favorite of mine that illustrates the point wonderfully!


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